If I wrote this column in words of one syllable and hy-phen-ated the diffi-cult words, as they used to do in the comic Chick's Own, you would rightly be insulted.

You'd be even more angry if I said I did it because I thought you were working class and only had a reading age of 10.

But this is what English Heritage is going to do: they are going to dumb down their guides, to point out that their attractions, like Stonehenge and sundry ruins, tombs and castles, are not highbrow, and only appeal to the literate middle classes. The aim is to rewrite them on the level of a 10-year-old.

So out go difficult concepts: lnstead of Jacobean, they will say in the reign of James 1. Instead of saying six metres, they will say as high as an average house, and 10 acres becomes as big as five football pitches. They won't say 3rd century but 1,700 years ago. Emphasis will be put on working class trades that were carried out on the sites.

You have to presume that all this is being done out of a genuine innocent belief that this will remove intellectual barriers, if such things exist. EH are even going to bus in loads of so-called working class people, taking them away from watching Corrie and breeding whippets, to get feedback. If I were one of their guinea pigs, I'd punch them on the nose for being patronising.

We all know what's happened: some quango has done a survey and found that the most common visitors to their sites are middle class, and that they are not attracting the proper quota of blue collar workers and different ethnic groups.

It is madness to insist that every historic site, every theatre or art gallery, every football match, every television programme, must attract a neat cross-section of society, with the right mix of upper, middle , working class, black, white, Asian, male, female. It doesn't work like that: life is random.

People have different tastes, they like different things, go to different places, and it's loony to try and engineer a politically correct profile for every human activity. It's this kind of skewed thinking that led to a lifeboat service being threatened with lower funding because they didn't rescue enough ethnic minority members from drowning.

This idea that organisations must attract all sorts is creeping everywhere: the Church of England has just announced that it wants to attract more bald men, fat women and disabled people to their churches, and that pews should be altered to accommodate them. You couldn't make it up.

If social diversity ever becomes the basis for public funding, we can expect a gigantic dumbing down.

Bristol City Art Gallery and Museum's fantastic Banksy show, which has had visitors of every shape, age, colour, gender and class queuing for hours, is a triumph of PC-ness, a show that attracts exactly the cross section that the Government would like, from noble lords to Thai hairdressers and disabled single mothers.

But it may well become a rod for the gallery's back in the future, because it's not very likely that another exhibition will have this kind of mass popular appeal.

And if some busybody starts counting and analysing future visitors, and finds the figures don't match the Banksy show profile, then pressure will be brought to bear on the Museum and Art Gallery directors to make exhibitions more accessible and diverse.

Or else.