Newcastle humbling is so hard to explain

Even now, six days on, I am still perplexed by what happened at the Memorial Stadium last Friday.

We came up against a better team; a Newcastle side who hit us like lightning. We certainly did not expect them to be as good as they were, and Newcastle deserve a lot of credit for the way they played.

But that does not take anything away from how bad we were. We looked completely devoid of confidence, the way we didn't get back into the game in the second half.

It was so disappointing, although there are quite a few factors why we are not performing at the moment.

I do not want to make excuses, but there is an element of unrest at the club at the moment because of all the comings and goings and people not knowing whether they are going to be here next week.

The departures of Corin Palmer and Kevin Maggs, for example, really have had an impact on the dressing room. Also, players who are out of contract this summer are well within their rights to start talking to other clubs.

Having said that, though, I know the club is in safe hands with Chris Booy, even if it will take some rebuilding at the end of the season.

We have got to get through it and we will certainly not give up, although I am sure the club is looking ahead to next season and what will happen if we do go down.

If anything, we have spent too long talking just about Newcastle. Even if we had won, we wouldn't have been guaranteed to stay up – and despite losing, we are not relegated.

We are nine points behind Worcester and we still have to play them, so there is hope yet. But I think Newcastle will start looking at the teams above them, rather than below them, if they can carry on playing the way they did the other night.

I feel sorry for our supporters for what they had to watch on Friday. I have been on the unofficial and official Internet forums this week reading people's thoughts – and it is saddening.

If this is to be my last season then I don't want to finish on a massive low – and I am so determined to help the club to safety. Our current position hurts me as a Bristol player and a Bristolian – and I can guarantee all of our supporters that we won't be giving up.

We have another tough task tomorrow at Sale, but it is not beyond the realms of possibility that we could win – stranger things have happened.

After the low of Friday night, I went to the Millennium Stadium on Saturday and was heartened by an improved England performance.

My highlight of the day was meeting Sir Geoff Hurst.

I did a bit of a talk before the game and he came up to me afterwards and said it was refreshing and honest – and asked if he could have a picture with me! I said, 'Of course you can – as long as you forward me a copy'!