Head of Year Andy Ross-Smith

Andy Ross-Smith

Head of Year, Timetabler and teacher of ICT & Geography at Henbury School, Bristol

School: I went to Latymer Upper School, Hammersmith, London

Motorcycle: Kawasaki VN1500 J1 Drifter

How long have you had your bike?

Since April 2000

Why and how did you acquire it?

Having been 'Born Again' in 1996 as a biker, our (my wife Jan & I) aim was to buy a bike that we could both comfortably go out on. I had looked after a friend's Moto Guzzi 850 T3 as he was too busy working to use it enough, and did not want to see it rotting away in his garage. Jan and I did not need asking twice! We used it at every opportunity and throughout the year. One New Year, we even rode to Tetbury in the freezing cold to visit friends of ours. By the time we got there, we were both frozen stiff and not a bit surprised to find snow still on the ground. The only way to survive the return journey was to stuff folded newspaper down the front of my jacket and trousers! Talk about cold enough to freeze the nethers off a brass monkey! We really did have the biking bug bad, and just had to get a bike of our own! Neither of us had any interest in 'head down, bum up' motorcycling dressed like a 'Power Ranger' and so when we reluctantly had to hand back the Guzzi, we settled on a second-hand Kawasaki EN450 Ltd…a great looking mini-chopper with a king n queen seat, long forks and high bars. However, good as it looked (and it certainly turned heads at school) it was just too small for the both of us to be comfortable on for a journey of any length. So we went in search of something a bit bigger. What we ended up with was a lot bigger! It was a bike which weighed over 300 Kilos, had a fuel injected v-twin engine bigger than many cars on the road, had shaft drive with enough torque to pull tree stumps with, and the look of the old 1950's Indian Chief. But most of all, the pillion seat was comfortable enough for Jan! One test ride was all it took!!

What is the bike like to ride?

It is a very secure feeling bike with a very low centre of gravity. Unlike many of the current cruisers available, it handles remarkably well for something with the turning circle of a small oil tanker, and although it is all too easy to grind the floorboards on roundabouts, it tracks well on bends. With only a single un-drilled disk on the front, I sometimes think it would be more effective to carry the anchor from a small oil tanker to throw behind me, but with a bit of forward planning and the massive amounts engine braking available from the motor, it has never presented me with a problem. The power delivery is very smooth and it pulls well in any gear. Gear changes are slick and clunk free and in theory it is good for about 115 mph. However, you'd have to have the arms of a gorilla to hang on at that speed as the upright and slightly feet forwards riding position means that the wind blast at anything over about 75mph is hard to bear for long. My first bolt on accessory was a screen which transformed its 'high speed' cruising abilities. The engine is rubber mounted and completely vibration-free through the handlebars and the seat. It is hard to fault as Japanese Cruisers go, and has proved to be faster, better handling, better value and more reliable than many of those on offer from our American cousins.

What would be you dream bike?

So many to choose from and absolutely no consistency of reasoning here! Give me any of the following (in no particular order) and I would be a very happy bunny…

Triumph Rocket III – 2.3 litres of madness

Kawasaki VN1600 Tourer – for real day to day usability

Honda F6 Valkyrie – 6 cylinders of chrome and steel bling

What bikes have you ridden in the past?

Honda CB 125 J

Honda C90

Honda CB175 K5

Suzuki GS600

Triumph T120V

TriBSA (500cc Triumph engine in a BSA A10 frame)

Ducati 900 SS

Moto Guzzi 850 T3

Kawasaki EN450 Ltd

When did you take your test and what was the experience like?

I took my test on my first bike (the 125cc Honda) in 1977 whilst at university in Reading. I unscrewed the wing-mirrors to force me to keep looking behind me and bought a lovely high viz jacket to show how safety conscious I was in the hope of creating a good impression. I was asked to drive round and round the block of houses opposite the test centre, whilst the tester walked the route observing me as I passed him several times. What he never did find out was that on the first circuit I went the wrong way down a one-way street, passing a police car on the way up!!! I had mis-read the no entry sign as one of the pair either side of the road ahead of me has been obscured by overhanging tree branches. I realised my mistake half way down the road and when I eventually got back on the route, he stopped me and asked where I had got to. I explained (lied) that I had turned left to avoid the one way street instead of right…and he bought it, because I passed first time! Ahh those were the days!

What's the funniest or quirky thing that's happened to you when riding a bike?

Two incidents really, both within months of passing my test! The first was when I forgot to lift the prop-stand on a CB175 belonging to my girlfriend at the time. I turned right out of the car-park and immediately left…or not as the case may be! The bike did not lean left as I had hoped, but ploughed straight on into a hedge, much to the amusement of all my mates who had watched me leave.

The second was crossing the University campus. There I was heading along the main driveway into the University and coming the other was a Tractor and trailer carrying mowing equipment. As I got within 20 yards or so, the driver decided to turn right…across my path… and having seen me when I hit the horn and brakes…stopped! I locked up the back wheel, but kept it upright and skidded gracefully into the off-side front wheel of the tractor. I went over the handle-bars, and fortunately over the tractor wheel too, and the bike simply dropped sideways. Total damage to the bike was a bent clutch lever and foot-peg…total damage to me, nothing! Had the tractor been another foot further over, I would have head-butted the tractor's radiator with I suspect somewhat different results.

What could be done to improve the conditions for motorcyclists in this country?

Where do I begin??? If all car drivers had to spend some time on two wheels in a busy city centre as part of their hazard awareness training it would go a long way towards making them more aware of motorcyclists and bicycle riders. However that will never happen. However I do think that it should be compulsory to coat all drain or manhole and inspection covers in a non-slip coating. Far too many are poorly sited on the outside of bends where motorcyclists ought to position their machines for the best view into a corner.

However, I do think that motorcyclists can do more to help themselves. They often have a reputation for riding too fast in built-up areas, pulling wheelies down the road and cutting up car drivers in city centre traffic. The fastest modern machines are limited to 187 mph not by law but by a voluntary manufacturer's agreement! However, even at 30 mph, colliding with an oncoming vehicle coming the other way at 30 mph gives an impact speed of 60 mph…head first. No wonder so many young riders die young. The problem is equally bad for the 'born again' brigade (and I class myself in that category). Motorcycle performance has moved on incredibly since the 70's and 80's as has the amount of traffic on our congested road system and it takes real skill to ride a modern powerful machine safely and within the limits of one's own abilities. It did not take me very long to realise this and on the recommendation of a friend a few years ago I embarked on some advanced rider training with the Bristol group of the Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM). It was the best thing I have done in years of motorcycling, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is not enough to blame the car drivers (and I am one of those too) when they zip up the bits into a body bag and some poor sod has to tell your wife or husband that 'there has been an accident'. There is a sign outside the highest pub in the Pennines (I think) which says "Ride like a moron, die like a moron" (or words to that effect!) and I could not agree more. As a rider, it is my responsibility to ride safely and to expect the unexpected. Motorcycling is inherently a dangerous occupation. Only a few bikes have airbags fitted and leather is a poor substitute for a steel crumple zone or Armco barriers. I want to go home in one piece, having enjoyed my ride, and thanks to my advanced training I can do just that…every time. Don't rely on the Chav in the baseball cap in that Suped up Saxo, the old buffer in a flat cap driving the Morris Minor or the 4x4 driver chatting on their mobile phone too see you coming. The first is probably too stoned and the second too short-sighted and the third will simply not be looking or even steering properly. No, it's my life, and I want to keep it thank you. Get yourself a skill for life. Get some advanced training.