Jane Jackson: Looking after the kids

It has taken me nearly two years to set up a support group for grandparents in Bristol who have lost contact with their grandchildren.

I have spent a great deal of time considering why it has been so difficult for grandparents to put their heads above the parapet. I believe there are lots of reasons. It could be that they are involved in a court case so, of course, they don't say anything for fear of jeopardising their case. They are afraid that if they speak out it could make a heartbreaking situation even worse. I feel as a grandparent I should be able to make it better and to have failed fills me with shame.

If you ever, and I really hope you don't, find yourself in this situation, when all lines of communication have broken down you start to explore the different options open to you. You will soon discover that as a grandparent you have no legal rights to see your grandchildren, but you will also find solicitors who are only to willing to apply for leave to the court for you to then apply for a contact order. It is necessary to apply to the court for leave to apply, as a grandparent, as set down in The Children Act 1989.

Complicated, it is indeed.

I read with interest a newspaper article recently where a retired judge had gone through this process and all the anguish it involves for everyone concerned. He and his family decided to withdraw their application as the emotional strain was too great but he also concluded that even if an order for contact was agreed it would lead to turmoil of a kind that would be detrimental to the children. He also stated that he believes that the approach of the family court in cases such as these is fundamentally flawed.

I speak to grandparents daily, all with their own very painful experiences. Causes are family breakdown, alcohol, drugs, bereavement and grandparents who have been full-time carers to their grandchildren for years, only for mum/dad to decide that she/he wants the children back.

Are we never going to learn by past experiences? When people ring the authorities, they must act. Take responsibility.

Of course this issue does not only involve grandparents. Many fathers are going through similar experiences, having no contact with their children and, yes, fathers do of course have rights but so often, like the retired judge, they feel to battle on with court cases is detrimental to their children.

Children have to continue to live their lives with whoever the resident parent may be, and it may not always be the life that the non-resident parent or grandparent would choose for their children/grandchildren but to continue through the courts will make life more difficult for them.

If a retired judge could not break through, then what hope do we have with no knowledge of the law at all?

Jane Jackson is from the Grandparents Bristol Support Group