Girl Friday: Halloween costumes are never a good look

Halloween has never been a good look for me. Trick-or-treating with my brother as a kid, we were suddenly surrounded by a gang of mini-delinquents dressed as devils and witches, having strayed on to their trick-or-treat turf.

We made a dash for it, but weren't fast enough and got pelted from head to toe with eggs and flour. Our horrified mum chucked us both in the bath fully clothed and I was picking flour out of my ears for weeks.

The following October, I went to a Halloween-themed birthday party at a friend's house. I dressed as a witch and my mum used green face-paint to give me that Grotbags look. She also used it to turn four Rice Krispies into green "warts" and stuck them to my nose with my uncle's wig glue.

My costume was a big hit at the party, but with all the games and dancing my "warts" soon fell off. I sneaked into the kitchen and saw that my party-host friend's dad had re-stuck the soles of his shoes and left them to dry on the window sill – next to the glue.

You can guess what happened next. The glue worked a treat – until I got home and my mum found my Rice Krispie warts were welded to my nose.

Assuming the wig glue must have reacted with the green face-paint, she panicked, loudly blaming herself, shoved a biscuit in my mouth and whisked me off to A&E.

Keen to avoid getting into trouble (and hoping there was more biscuit-mileage in Mum's guilt), I kept schtum about glue number two – until now. Sorry, Mum.

Decades later, I was invited to a fancy dress party in Clifton on Halloween night. For once, I decided to go glamorous. With a floor-length white silk nightie, a long white wig and silver heels, I was going for "sexy ghost".

On the drive over to the party, my car spluttered and shuddered before grinding to a halt. I tried the key again – nothing. Bah. I rang the RAC, who said they'd send someone out.

Many minutes later, I was frozen solid, desperate for the loo and annoyed at missing the party fun, so when the RAC man finally arrived I was so relieved I ran out of my car towards him – completely forgetting I was dressed as a ghost.

He took one look at me and almost had a heart attack.