You should by now have calmed down after the casual insult to our region that appeared in the pages of the Guardian newspaper nearly a fortnight ago.

If you missed it, its Saturday magazine's home-hunting feature had a headline saying: "Let's move to Bristol, Somerset…"

I've been looking for the place ever since, and have not been able to find a city of that name in a county of that name.

I wasn't helped by the clues in the article, which sung the praises of Brizzle from an especially metropolitan point of view, speculating that all the good things about the place were perhaps turning it into "London lite".

No, no, no; defining everything in terms of its London-ness or lack of it or distance from it is just the kind of patronising attitude that allows a serious national newspaper to skate over some basic fact checking, and put one of Britain's biggest cities in the wrong place.

It's the kind of attitude that lets them, and the other quality newspapers, to repeatedly print reviews of restaurants that all seem to be near Tube stations, and to use their columns to recommend wines that can be afforded only by those on the kind of super-salaries that are far more likely to be earnt in London than out of it.

Bristol, as we all know, is in Bristol and it's so good that – like New York in that old song – they made it twice.

Still, at least the Guardian didn't put Bristol in Wales. I don't mean that nastily, it's just that our cousins across the water have an even harder time when dealing with those folk from the Big Smoke.

A Welsh colleague of mine, on the phone recently to a very sophisticated London public relations firm whose staff are paid vast sums to communicate effectively, had to endure them mangling the name of the Welsh nationalist party Plaid Cymru.

They got the Plaid bit sort of OK, but for the second word, which is name of one of the nations of the UK (there are only three, for goodness' sake) they just guessed. They tried thimroo, kimeroo, koomrah, and a strange gasping sound that translates into print best as thwchgimeroogh.

I won't tell you how it's really said, because I'm sure you either know or would look it up rather than just guess.

Anyway, if you do find this strange city of Bristol in the county of Somerset, perhaps you could let me know where it is, and if it is in any way related to the other Bristol.