The hills are alive with the rounds of golfers...

As Ian Pemble found, Forest Hills offers a fair challenge with a bit of everything – including a scenic drive to get there

AT Forest Hills they have, as the man in the pro's shop put it, "a proper golf course". For the men, it's par-72 and 6,050 yards off the yellow tees (6,385, white); for the ladies, it's par-74 and 5,673 yards.

That doesn't appear to be very long, but cunning design and use of those "hills" make up for this. Not that we're talking heart-pumping climbs (or, even worse, stomach-pumping ones) because they are gradual rather than steep, but the occasional slope can offer a challenge that is quite different from sheer length. And although the card shows the first seven holes are all par-4s, they really do ring the changes: straight down hill to start, two doglegs, a pond in the middle of the fairway, then straight uphill followed by another slight dogleg downhill to the right and a sharper left turn back up the hill.

I didn't complete the seventh because I sneaked around a three-ball and therefore also missed the downhill, par-3 eighth.

But at least on the 477-yard, uphill-all-the- way, par-5 ninth I smashed my drive 250-plus yards, a fairway wood came up 40 yards short, my pumped-up pitch only just held on to the flat bit and I narrowly missed the putt to card what would have been an impressive par-5 … except my longest-drive-of-the-day was a red-mist, eyeballs-out, temper-tantrum three-off-the-tee because I'd toe-ended my first attempt 30 yards into the rough*.

In other words, I got a seven.

But I got a good start on the back nine with a par at the 281-yard, par-4 10th and followed this with two bogie-fives: on the downhill 11th, to a pretty green in front of a large lake, and the uphill 12th where a long straight drive was ruined by a thinned approach through the back of the green. But then came two par-5s split by the course's second par-3. Both of the long holes found me out: I hooked my drive out of bounds on the uphill 13th and a pathetic attempt at a draw out of some rough push the ball way right on the 15th. But I did manage a creditable four on the 14th, a nice little downhill, short hole that has a sting in the tail for the ladies.

For the men, off the white tees the 14th is 172 yards and off the yellows an easy 125 yards. But the ladies' red tee is 15 yards further back from the yellow markers. No, I don't understand it either.

On the other hand, the ladies' par is 74 because they play two of the par-4s on the front nine (the fifth and sixth) as par-5s. Maybe the 14th is an attempt at retribution?

The view from beside the 15th green along the 16th fairway and down the valley is the prettiest spot on the course, and I duly paused to enjoy it.

Then, while setting up my tee shot, I wondered if it would be possibly to land the ball on the buggy path cut into the slope on the left of the fairway and how much extra yardage a big bounce would yield. To my astonishment, I then hit the perfect drive and the ball did indeed land on the path.

However, if I did get any extra distance it wasn't worth it because when I took my free drop off the path I got a horrible hanging lie with the ball way below my feet – only a 12ft putt saved me from carding a six.

From the 17th, a slightly uphill par-3 with a bunker hidden on the right (of course I did), there's another nice view – this time back up the valley and across most of the course.

Then there's a final climb to the 18th where I caught up with two youngsters finishing their round. One of them had left his driver on the tee and, to judge from his body language, it might have been on purpose. Never mind, lad, it's waiting for you in the shop – better luck next time.

As far as my golf goes, the same sentiments apply – keeping sixes off your card can be achieved by hitting lots of sevens. But the course is certainly not to blame. It's a fair challenge, nicely laid out and looked after, with a bit of everything – water, bunkers, doglegs, drops and climbs. It also drains very well – a huge advantage. Despite a week of heavy rain, there were no temporary greens or tees, and although a few bunkers had been designated "ground under repair" because of the wet conditions, the only one I went in was "in play".

The word in the bar afterwards was that this course becomes even more popular with the locals during monsoon conditions because it stays open. And it's certainly worth a visit from further afield. It's only about an hour from Bristol (less if the traffic is light) and there are some very good deals. I was there on a Tuesday when they offer a round and a pint in the bar for £15, at weekends there's a special four-ball package of a round and buggies for £99 – and there's even accommodation on offer when you play Forest Hills and its sister club, Bells Hotel & Golf Club, a couple of miles away.

So phone ahead to find out what's on offer. Don't let the 14th put you off, rise to the challenge – a mere 140 yards downhill with a following wind? Reach for that six-iron.

* This sentence is the official Western Daily Press entry in the Campaign for Pained English annual awards in the Gratuitous Use of Hyphens category.

Address: Forest Hills Golf Club, Mile End Road, Coleford, Gloucestershire GL16 7BY

Telephone: 01594 810620

Website: foresthillsgolfclub.co.uk

Email: See website

Getting there: The club is on the B4028 just north of Coleford in the Forest of Dean. From Bristol take the M4 to the M48 crossing, turn right through Chepstow on the A48 and follow it up the hill to a left turn on to the B4228. After a drive through Tidenham Chase and past St Briavels (pronounced "Brevels", apparently), turn right at the bottom of the hill into Coleford and on to the B4028 – the club/course is on the edge of town on your left.