So that was Christmas

I feel like a whale that has eaten so much that it cannot find a coast big enough to beach itself so has to bob along the bottom of the ocean using its massive bulk as a buoyancy aid.

Not only that but if Mr Creosote stood next to me you would probably mistake him for a bulimic catwalk model.

So, I have just eaten my last bacon sandwich for what I hope to be some time to come.

In common with millions of other well-intentioned fatties at this time of year, I have resolved to double my weight loss efforts come the new year, and cast aside such evilness as bacon sarnies, crisps and chocolate and all the other things I love.

To be honest though I am looking forward to getting back in the gym after the past few weeks of debauchery when the faintest festive excuse was rolled out to justify stuffing my face.

I started feeling bloated by December 1, and obviously I have put on some weight, but actually not as much as I thought.

I dared to step onto the scales this week and found I had put on eight pounds, putting me back up to 17st 8lbs.

It’s not great, but I can live with that, as I know once I start getting back into training I will be able to shift it, (he says optimistically. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever slip back into those 30” waist Levis and the slim-fit shirts that have been hanging in my cupboard unworn for some time.

But to inspire me further I am planning to run the Bath Half Marathon which is in mid March.

I realise that 13.1 miles is a long way to run after just ten weeks training, but in my fitter days I did do a few half marathons so I do at least know what is required of me, even if I have to resort to puffing round the course like an asthmatic Ivor the Engine.

I also have a band of equally stupid brothers to help me with the training, running under the banner of the Fat B*stards Running Club. If you are reading this and fancy joining us, let me know.

You just have to be able to move forward and breathe at the same time to join the club.

It is going to be pretty intense, with a very short training period, but we think we can do it or at least die trying.

It is good to set a goal though, so it could be the start of something even bigger as I have always fancied having a crack at a full marathon. I am hoping that if I start now I could be fit for London by April 2010.

Equally I could also be suffering from delirium after eating too much sugar over Christmas.