We've lost the true meaning of Christmas, says the Bishop of Croydon in a recent interview about his new book.

He's not complaining about all the merriment but that we have forgotten the real story behind it. And the carols and nativity plays make it more of a fairy tale. In Away In A Manger it says "the cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, but little Lord Jesus no crying he makes". The Bishop argues that that's not real – babies do cry!

The Bishop is a brave man! Nativity plays and carol services attract more people than any other religious occasion. And people come for the traditional things. That has to be respected. Anything different has to be introduced with care and sensitivity.

But our much-loved Victorian carols do tend to sentimentalise – Once In Royal David's City says "And through all his wondrous childhood he would honour and obey….Christian children all must be, mild, obedient, good as he." I suppose it's trying to say, just like "no crying he makes", that this child is different, not just human but divine.

Nowadays we want to say that he was utterly human like us, otherwise he is of no relevance to us, and that his divinity was not seen in being different, but in being a completely whole human being.

But the Bishop has other problems to address. The Bible stories themselves have a fairy tale quality – angels appearing to shepherds, a star guiding kings. This is a different world to ours. Religious people, then, expressed their experiences using ideas and language we find foreign. They were pre-scientific and thought of God as the immediate cause of events. We also have religious experiences but talk about them differently.

The other problem is that these stories may not be based on historical fact but may have been woven together by Matthew and Luke out of Old Testament prophecies and the reading back of the early Church into the life of Jesus. Their purpose was to convince us of his significance and encourage us as his disciples.

Whatever actually happened, the truth they are conveying is that in Jesus we see God's nature revealed – for the Jewish people (born in Bethlehem, the city of David, his ancestor), for the poor and outcast (the shepherds) and for all nations (the kings).

The real question about Christmas is – is it in the spirit of Christ? Giving must be at the heart of what it is about. "Caring at Christmas" in St Pauls, when for a week or so the homeless and excluded are welcomed in and cared for, is a good example. And a season of hope and comfort, in the midst of winter, in a troubled world, comes as a ray of light in the darkness.

Religious belief has many levels of meaning and is often not tidy or orthodox.

We shall go on enjoying our carols and delighting in our children's nativity plays – and the miracle is that God will be found there.