Marcus Trescothick: I'm flattered, but I won't be playing at The Oval
Marcus Trescothick column: Of course I thought hard about it. But there will be no England comeback for me in the final Ashes Test of this gripping series.
It has been very flattering to see my name mentioned in so many circles since Australia's crushing win at Headingley and I'd be a liar if I said the prospect of playing at The Oval hadn't occupied my mind a lot.
In fact, that has been the case to such an extent that the other day I woke up at 6.30am from a terrible dream.
There is a nightmare a lot of cricketers experience that they can't get their pads on when they are due in to bat.
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My dream was a variation of that. I couldn't get my England kit out of my bag! The other players were waiting for me on the pitch to do a team photo so I was in a right panic. I woke up in a cold sweat.
Perhaps that told me something. It gives me a massive kick that I am still thought good enough to come back and play at international level, but I've gone too far down the line in battling my stress problems to change my mind about now ending my England career.
My wife, Hayley, and I did talk about what my reaction should be if I were asked and we ended up having a good chuckle about it.
She was prepared to back me if I wanted to play at The Oval and part of us both fancied the thought of getting involved again. I had a great time playing international cricket and we both have some very happy memories of my days as an England player.
But it just didn't feel right. Nothing in me made me feel I had to do it so I came to the conclusion that I don't want it enough.
Andrew Strauss did ring me over the last few days, but it was to ask me to play in a golf day for him. We did talk about England, but there was nothing direct about my involvement and he knows I won't be reconsidering.
I thought the selectors got it wrong in not playing an extra batsman at Headingley when Freddie Flintoff was ruled out and I think they have to go with Jonathan Trott at The Oval, having named him in the squad for the fourth Test and then left him out.
Steve Harmison has to play in my view so, with Freddie due to return, I would dispense with Graham Onions, only because the taller Stuart Broad is likely to get more bounce. I would retain Ian Bell and bring in Trott for Ravi Bopara.
I know there are still bridges to cross as far as my illness is concerned. If Somerset win or finish runners-up in the Twenty20 Cup finals day at Edgbaston this Saturday, we will have the chance to play in the Champions Trophy in India in September.
While not taking anything for granted, I have already talked to coach Andy Hurry about whether I would be able to travel for that tournament.
I know I would want to go, but I also still recall getting to the airport with Somerset before a pre-season trip to Dubai and then having to go back home because I felt so wretched.
What was decided with Andy was that if the situation arises I will sit down with other club officials and discuss all the possibilities.
Maybe I could find a house over there to live in with my family for the duration of the tournament and that might allow me to overcome the psychological problems I have about playing abroad.
First of all we need to see what happens on Saturday. But if Somerset qualify for the Champions Trophy the key thing is that I desperately want to be involved and will do all I can to be there.
The difference between going abroad with Somerset and touring with England is that I can take my family with me as a holiday and spend a lot of time with them. That wouldn't work at international level.
I'm sure the other players at the club would be supportive. I've already spoken to a couple about the possibility and no objections were raised.
We're certainly not counting any chickens because any one of the four teams turning up at Edgbaston are capable of lifting the Twenty20 Cup.
I'm happy that Somerset are involved in the second semi-final against Kent because I think the winners of the competition over the years have tended to come out of that game.
It was the case for us in 2005 when we beat Leicestershire and then Lancashire in the final, so hopefully it is a good omen. We have recent experience of playing at Edgbaston because we were there for a Championship game against Warwickshire only last week and that could give us a slight advantage.
We will be familiar with the pitch and the surroundings, but in the final analysis it's all about executing our plans on the day. All four teams will be thinking the same and the one which gets it right under pressure will come out on top.