The former wife of John Hogan, the Bristol tiler who killed his son Liam when he threw him off a hotel balcony in Crete, is pregnant by her new husband and "terrified" of losing her next child.

Natasha Visser, 36, re-married and emigrated to Australia with her daughter Mia after Hogan made the fatal 50ft plunge with both children from the Hotel Petra Mare, Ierapetra, in August 2006.

Speaking from her new home, 24-weeks pregnant Natasha, who is a nurse, said she hates Hogan but her anger about what he did has been replaced by a deep sorrow for the loss of her firstborn.

In January last year a Greek court declared Hogan had suffered an "earthquake of

psychosis" when he thought his wife was leaving him, and cleared him of murder.

Natasha saw Hogan on TV this week as he hobbled through Heathrow Airport on his return to Bristol from three years of psychiatric treatment in Greece.

She said: "I was sobbing so hard I thought I would never stop.

"Then I shouted at John 'you idiot!', because it never had to be this way.

"Liam should still be alive and John should be tucking him up in bed at night. He loved them, so how could he have done it?

"Was it a moment of madness, or did he do it to punish me? I still don't know the answer to that question.

"What I do know is that Liam should be here to welcome his new brother or sister. He should be part of this new family. We are not complete without him."

Natasha said if she could have Liam back she would readily swap her new life in Australia for a two-up, two-down house in Bristol.

She said: "Even if we'd split up, John could still have had a family, I knew how much he loved them. I would never have stopped him seeing his children.

"Instead, I have a garage full of Liam's things, all his clothes and toys. I still can't bear to sort through them all, but I also want my new child to know his older brother, to be able to look at his favourite things."

She said: "Was he mad? I don't think John could even answer that question because he appears to have convinced himself that he was not responsible for his actions, but that's the part I will never accept."

Natasha, formerly of Bradley Stoke, said her new husband Richard has been "brilliant", but sometimes he cannot help her plight.

She said her daughter hasn't asked to see Hogan, and now calls him John instead of Daddy; when Mia is 18 Natasha says she will not try to stop her seeing Hogan if she wants to.

She said: "Having lost one child, I'm terrified of losing another. I've become very superstitious. I don't know if I'm having a girl or a boy and I don't mind, as long as it is healthy."

A second inquest into Liam's death is to take place after a first, in which Avon Coroner Paul Forrest recorded a verdict of "unlawful killing", was deemed legally flawed by High Court judges.

Hogan, 35, is now receiving psychiatric care at the NHS Callington Road Hospital in Brislington.