All good things must come to an end. Todd Carty the Carthorse, who "trained" at Bristol ice rink, has saddled up and skedaddled off into the Dancing on Ice sunset.

I suppose he was never going to top his Beatles' Help! routine of three weeks ago that's made him an internet sensation.

And, thankfully, we didn't have another John Sergeant-style resignation mid-series on our hands, although judging by the scoring system glitches last Sunday, the show's trying its damndest to be Strictly Come Dancing's doppelganger.

Nevertheless, we'll miss Carty's teetering little Bambi figure and windmill arms at ITV1's ice rink, even if his final appearance was more like Standing on Ice, smiling and frowning as he did on the same spot for 32 seconds (I counted them) before he moved an inch.

There is, however, enough left to keep us watching, if only to find out if everyone is still in one piece.

Emmerdale's Roxanne Pallett was left with a nasty ice burn to her shoulder after being swung round by her ankles for the dangerous "headbanger" move.

And Liberty X singer Jessica Taylor almost castrated her partner Pavel Aubrecht during practice, with a misplaced skate between his legs which sliced his groin.

They danced to Ella Fitzgerald's Cheek to Cheek, which might also have been the surgical nickname for the skin graft Pavel almost needed. Elsewhere, commentator Tony Gubba had some promising news for everyone who feels the same as me about ITV1's lunchtime sewing circle Loose Women: "Coleen Nolan gets so nervous she holds her breath for her entire routine. We'd better warn her they get longer and longer."

About eight minutes should do it.

And even without Carty, there's comedy to behold in the shape of rugby league legend Ellery Hanley who survived the skate-off with his out-of-synch gyrating (involuntary convulsing) to Boogie Wonderland, wearing a sequined orange top.

The future's bright. The future's Ellery.