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Fight back against aging - stop being so miserable

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Thursday, March 07, 2013
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The Bristol Post

I'M about to offer you a top-secret anti-aging miracle cream. Only it's not a cream. I'll explain… I'm getting older and here's how I know: I'm running out of hair. You know you're getting older when your hair falls out. Just like you know you're getting older when where there were previously muscles, there is now just unidentifiable matter with the consistency of melting Silly-Putty. And just like you know you're getting older when you get stuck for hours in the bean-bag after sitting down to watch Homes Under The Hammer.

All of the above are unavoidable symptoms of again and there nothing to be done about their tragic onset. Other than shedding tears at the inexorable march of time.

Also; you also know that you're getting older when you hear a tune by a new pop act, one that's been acclaimed by the younger generation and it makes you recoil in terror. It happened to me recently. Have you tried listening to dub-step? It sounds like a house brick going round in a tumble dryer while someone punches a gibbon.

Hating new musical genres such as dub-step is just another symptom of aging. And there's nothing anyone can do about it either. Nobody over 30 likes dub-step.

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But here's one other reason that I know I'm getting old and I'm confident there's something I can do about this. I did something for the first time ever last week. Here's how it went down…

I walked past a group of kids in the park near where I live (Victoria Park, since you ask). They were about 18 years old, there were five or six of them and they were standing in a group beside the path. They were dressed in trousers that were falling down and hats that were precariously balanced on their heads. They had piercings and tattoos and were talking and laughing loudly with each other. And when I walked past them; I tutted.

I made a loud "tutting" sound and I shook my head in disapproval. You know why? Me neither!

This group of kids had done absolutely nothing wrong. They were simply having a laugh and enjoying each other's company. But because they were younger than me, I suddenly felt it was my place to judge them. And THAT is another miserable, depressing, all too common sign of growing old.

And I know I'm not the only one who goes round tutting at the younger generation. We all do it. We are all happy to be judgmental. We're too ready to pedal the notion that kids these days are all out-of-control, ASBO-happy ne'er-do-wells. They really aren't.

These kids were doing nothing except being kids and people like me should stop tutting.

So here's my anti-aging miracle cure; I'm fighting back against the cruel symptoms of growing older by stopping being so inexcusably miserable.

Lets all give it a go.

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2 Comments

  • Profile image for BedmoBanjo

    by BedmoBanjo

    Thursday, March 07 2013, 4:56PM

    “@Whippet - Hardly surprised the "don't be miserable" principle didn't filter through.”

  • Profile image for whippetprince

    by whippetprince

    Thursday, March 07 2013, 1:20PM

    “What a rubbish article, old people have too much time on their hands.

    Go and have a nap, Countdown is on soon...”

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