Tim Davey The Coalition reckons to be a 'syrup of figs' – you heard it here first

I have this wall. And a double gate. Together they cost me a deal of time – and money. It was a simple job, I wanted to remove some awful breeze blocks in part of it, shorten it, and install a wider farm gate.

I live in a listed building (no, it's not a grand manor house) and a conservation area, so I did what every single one of my neighbours also has to do – I went to planning for permission.

It took an age. And some cost.

But I was fine conforming with their wishes and demands and it looks good.

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And to my way of thinking they get far too much stick for doing the job they are paid to do, because in more cases than not, I guess, they ensure certain standards are met, monstrosities are avoided, and, more importantly, buildings which affect the standard of life of those living around them get the thumbs down. Until now.

For I was somewhat aghast to hear the PM David Cameron vilifying planners. In his current view they are suddenly the constipation-makers of our society, blocking each and every one of us every which way.

So, at a stroke, he and his Coalition Cabinet declared themselves to be the antidote, a sort of politically driven syrup of figs. Under their plans homeowners and businesses, for a three-year period, will be able to build much bigger extensions without planning permission than they can at present.

Now, before I go any further, let me make it clear I am no political animal. It just strikes me that Dave, Nick and Co with their anything goes permission-free green light are unthinkingly unleashing a heap of misery on our embattled nation.

For coming soon to a backyard near you could be the foulest, ugliest, one/two/three-storey extension.

One day you'll have sunshine streaming into the little oasis you call your garden. The next someone's toilet window will be overlooking it.

And the best bit is they don't have to get any permission for it because this, it is said, is the thing which will kick start our economy. Really?

I rang my sister in Kent. She lives on a sizeable suburban middle-class estate, full of aspirational home-owning types.

Now, guess what's been troubling her this past week?

Yep, that's right, the prospect of Dave's planning free-for-all turning her domestic surroundings upside down with a bit of dodgy breeze-block rubbish thrown up in some nearby garden which overlooks hers.

Anyway, that's it, rant over.

But when the cement mixers and the diggers arrive next door without any warning, remember you read it here first.