THERE was an amusing article in a national newspaper last week relating to the champions of Europe and England – Manchester United.

It reported that their players had been attacked while training at their all-weather complex – by geese! It stated that star player Cristiano Ronaldo, pictured, had been dive-bombed by the birds and Wayne Rooney had also ran for cover.

I know you can't believe everything you read in newspapers, but the thought of that happening to pampered stars left me with a smile on my face.

What is undoubtedly true though is that this is not the first time that either of them have appeared in a tabloid newspaper which has featured a headline that included bird in it!

Over the years I can't remember any sort of animal or bird causing a problem on training night at clubs I've been involved with. I can recall a few funny moments related to animals that have happened during matches, though.

During a Sunday morning game a number of years ago, there was a man standing with his dog watching our game.

The dog wasn't on a lead but appeared to be very well behaved. It wasn't until our right-back kicked the ball upfield that the dog suddenly bolted and leapt straight at the player.

Our ful-back wasn't hurt, but was left a little shaken up.

Moments later the exact same scenario took place. This time our defender shouted over to the dog owner "Oi, your dog keeps going for me." The unfazed owner replied by shouting back "Do you want to buy him because he won't go anywhere for me?!"

On another occasion, yet again on a Sunday morning, we were playing a match where the pitch backed on to farmland which had very large bulls grazing on it. So predictably during the warm-up one of our players blasted a ball over the crossbar, which ended up nesting near the grazing bulls.

As he went to get over the fence to retrieve the ball, a local chap standing nearby said: "I hope those bulls don't charge you." Our player's reply was classic: "I hope not as well because I haven't got a penny on me!"

It may not have been the same week but I can definitely recall one of our players filling black bin liners with manure from a field.

When someone asked him what he was going to do with it he replied: "I'm going to put it on our dad's rhubarb."

"How vile" I replied, "we put custard on ours!"