Bristol's brutal burger too much for Post reporter
I consider myself a big eater for my size. I play rugby three times a week, weigh 13-and-a-half stone, and I go to the gym a few times.
Almost always hungry, a few weeks ago I began to think I had worms.
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Reporter Dan Evans is applauded by Jolly Fryer staff
The first I heard of the Super Scooby burger was a picture of the cholesterol mountain in yesterday's Bristol Evening Post.
It looked as though the towering stack – four 1/4lb beef patties, eight rashers of bacon, eight slices of cheese, 12 onion rings, salad, three sauces and bread – was about to gobble up its eater, not the other way around.
Now it was my turn to take on the fearsome looking meal on sale at the Jolly Fryer in Filton Avenue. Not for the faint-hearted – or should that be weak-hearted? – it turned out to be as much a test of mental strength as one of intestinal fortitude.
THE PREP: It's the thought of 2,600 calories that, pardon the pun, eats away at me before I take the first bite.
As the burger's 'inventor' Karl Ford and the Jolly Fryer's owner Nick Lomvardos cook the various components, it looks like they're cooking for a five-a-side football team, not a reporter on his lunch break. The brain tells me this is very foolish. I'm partial to a doner kebab, but this is the equivalent of eating two in one sitting. And then it arrives, towering way above what I had imagined.
THE FIRST BITE: Using both hands to prevent the Super Scooby toppling over, I figure eyes-closed is best. I know from experience that hot fat flying through the air can be an occupational hazard when tackling a particularly juicy burger. Even with my mouth wide open I can only nibble at the sides. The first bite is tasty – a carnivore like me should be loving this, surely?
THE BATTLE: The problem is I can't make headway. Each mouthful hardly seems to make a dent in the Everest of Bristol burgers. The first quarter was pleasant, but eight rashers of bacon and eight slices of cheese provide far too much salt for a human. Ultimately, the salt is my downfall. Slightly over half way, the pace begins to slow, my chewing more pedestrian, swallowing difficult. I am defeated.
THE AFTERMATH: Apart from the disappointment that I couldn't finish the challenge, I don't feel terrible. But a few hours later I am still full to the brim and pretty dehydrated.
TOP TIP: If, after a few pints, you fancy a gut-busting challenge, go for it – but get one to share!
25 Comments
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by monique, bristol
Saturday, October 03 2009, 3:19PM
“lol at da debateing,its nt my kinda food but fair play 2 ne 1 who has or will try 1,rather u den me lol x”
by Justin, Bristol
Tuesday, September 29 2009, 4:45PM
“Does this mean McDonalds, Burger King and even Asda, Tescos and anywhere that sell unhealthy foods should be banned from advertising in any kind of media? Should Cadburys be banned from sponsoring Coronation Street in case someone goes and buys a chocolate bar on the back of seeing an advertisement?”
by Mike Ford ¿(¿¿¿¿¿)¿, Bristol
Tuesday, September 29 2009, 3:59PM
“I'm taller and thinner than you then, and I don't play a rubbish loser sport. Checkmate.”
by Mike, Filton
Tuesday, September 29 2009, 3:50PM
“Hey Mike Ford, thanks for the compliment. Unfortunately you have had to resort to personal abuse when faced with logic and common sense. However I am not a fat mess. 6'4 and 14 stone prop forward who unlike your goodself is still sexual active. Enjoy your TV meal for one!”
by Alex, Redcliffe
Tuesday, September 29 2009, 3:13PM
“I consider myself quite healthy and eat a good diet. But even I would love to take up the challenge of trying to eat one of these just as a one-off treat. And that¿s the point. Most people will maybe go along and buy one for the novelty factor and never go back ¿ no harm done.
The kind of people who eat these regularly are, let's face it, likely to already be half way to an early grave already as they probably have a bad diet aside from this burger as well as a poor standard of living in terms of exercise etc. Eating these will only speed up the inevitable ¿ I certainly don¿t think it will induce an epidemic of heart disease and death that cannot already be attributed to other risk factors that were not in the victims to begin with.
One final point. All those complaining ¿ there really are more important things in the world to get worked up about than a fast food joint in Filton selling a huge burger. If you really want to get your knickers in a twist try looking at a website called "thisiswhyyourefat(dot)com". There you will see that people are making burgers like this at home anyway. Why shouldn¿t someone try making a bit of money out of an existing market. It¿s basic supply and demand.”