Where have all the real men gone? That was the question one frustrated female customer asked Adam Cole, then owner of the Henry Africa's Hothouse bar in Clifton, Bristol.

Gazing around him, Adam was puzzled – the place was packed with men. But after watching the men and women drinking at his bar, he realised there was a problem.

The women were all on one side of the room and the men were on the other – and it seemed the men didn't dare approach the women. "Unless they'd had 10 pints, and then they weren't appealing to the women," says Adam's friend and colleague Leon Rudge, mimicking the lurch of a drunken man.

Adam's light bulb moment came a few years ago, and both he and Henry Africa's have gone their separate ways since then.

But his sense that the communication problem between men and women was leaving both sexes feeling fed up has since developed into a course for men called Get Me The Girl which has just launched in Bristol. It's led by Leon, a fitness trainer and a self-confessed "cocky, funny guy" who's "a natural" at attracting women.

Adam's son Jamie, hailed as a "top pick-up artist with outstanding natural skills for getting the girls", is also one of the trainers, while Adam himself prefers to take more of a backroom role, counselling men on a one-to-one level about improving their relationships.

Both Leon and Jamie certainly ooze an easy self-confidence when I meet them in Aqua on Welsh Back. At 32, Leon is suave in a dark suit and open neck shirt, while 21-year-old Jamie has an elaborately trendy haircut and an equally sharp suit.

Courses in how to attract women began in the United States in the Eighties and have spawned a huge, big-money industry, with books and website. Known as "the game" or "pick-up artists", its top coaches have become stars of the pick-up world, with monikers such as Mystery, Style, Swingcat and Matador. There are even TV shows where contestants are shown trying to put the principles of "the game" into practice.

It all seems faintly ridiculous to me – and sleazy. Most players of "the game" are open about the fact that their only aim is to bed as many women as possible. Their idea of a relationship is the short-lived period between first meeting a woman and sleeping with her.

Leon and Jamie admit that the tips and techniques they teach on attracting women have been influenced by the ones across the Atlantic. But they insist their course takes a far subtler approach and is suitable for Britain's very different dating culture.

"The American approach doesn't work in England. The name alone says it – we don't 'pick up' women," says Leon.

He explains that modern men have lost their confidence when it comes to approaching women; they feel emasculated in a society that seems to be increasingly female-oriented.

Adam's research found that communicating with women was one of men's biggest fears and that 98 per cent of them fear approaching women, even to instigate a conversation. The course, Leon tells me, is about teaching them to get back in touch with their "alpha male" instincts so that they're confident enough to approach women.

Alpha male? The phrase immediately raises alarm bells in my mind. Are they promoting a 21st-century version of clubbing a woman over the head and dragging her into the cave, I wonder? Because today's woman is quite likely to rise up and club any man who tries that tactic in return.

Leon laughs when I suggest that they're teaching a very outdated idea of relationships between men and women. No, no, he says, it's more about restoring men's sense of masculinity: "By alpha male, we mean leader of men".

"We don't say we'll make him a great guy overnight," adds Jamie, "but we re-ignite men's basic instincts and give them the tools and confidence they need to go out and find the woman of their dreams."

Hmmm. I'm still not convinced. But it certainly seems true that men can find it hard to approach women. Jamie says they fear rejection; they don't think they're good-looking enough or rich enough or entertaining enough to attract a woman.

"A lot of guys think of the worst possible scenario," he says. "Meanwhile, the girl might be sitting over there thinking 'I wish a guy would approach me'."

Well, that's certainly a scenario that many women would recognise. So how exactly do they go about teaching men how to approach women? Some of it is about getting the basics right, such as grooming, says Leon: "It might be about shaving, cutting their hair, not having dirty nails. You'd be amazed at how many men don't do that."

A lot of it involves psychology – Jamie talks about "removing self-limiting beliefs" (the "I'm-not-good- enough-voice in your head") – and body language.

There are tips on how to approach women, in groups or alone (avoid nightclubs – too noisy, says Leon – and don't drink, for a start) and ideas for conversation openers, including lines designed to get a debate going (such as "Who lies more, men or women?"). And then there are the practical exercises – such as going out and trying out the techniques. They'll even tell you how long to wait before phoning a woman as well as how to handle that crucial first date.

Does it work? The website certainly promises a great deal. You'll walk away with "skills to enable you to have power and choice over beautiful women", it says. "At last you can find out how to approach, engage and attract great looking girls."

Power and choice over beautiful women? I'm tempted to say "dream on, boys!".

The two-day course is not cheap at £350 (£299 for students) but Jamie insists it gets "great feedback" from men. They've already piloted it in Bristol and the plan is to run it in major cities across the country.

"We are very light-hearted and we try to make it as fun as possible but there is a serious side to this – and it does work," he says. "It changes people's lives because they leave with so much confidence."

The guys are running a course in Bristol this weekend (February 14 to 15) and another on the weekend of March 14 and 15; there's a course in Cardiff on February 28 to March 1. They'll also be running two courses in Cannes and one in Monte Carlo.

For more information, go to: www.getmethegirl.co.uk